The First Blog Post - Here we go!

I feel like I am at a party and I don't know anyone. I have to walk up to people, introduce myself and try to find some common ground. Or, I could walk up, introduce myself and say something completely attention-grabbing. Not sure which approach I want to take with this first blog post.

I'll be happy when I get to the point where I can just catch you up on today, or last week....but a lifetime?

Ok, let's just catch up on the last 3 weeks.

Three weeks ago, I sent an email to my friends and family. It was the official opening announcement of the "12 Months of Me", my own personal declaration that for the next 12 months, I am focused on myself. I talked about how I wanted to start 6 months prior to my 40th birthday - and extend the celebration of me 6 months after my birthday. I told them that I would not be hosting any events, babysitting any one's children, washing any one's dishes when I come to dinner, etc. I talked about spending time in the gym...and at the spa. And, though I didn't mention it, I plan on being myself a really outrageous new sports car and maybe getting some plastic surgery for little things I want to get "touched up". Good stuff, right?

Ok, so 2 days after I sent that email, the planets and the moon must have aligned in some crazy way. My days at work got so busy that I could barely find time to get out of my PJs all day (I work from home). My clients started all kinds of drama - my boss got very demanding (not his fault - just bad timing), I got a nasty-gram from the IRS, my brakes on my Camry started to grind, my 4th grader got a detention slip for excessive talking in class (she is super-social), I came upon a deadline to file some paperwork in court for a trust-fund I am taking over and I almost missed the deadline to file. I started working excessively long days - and well into each night (morning - 2 & 3am) and weekends. I gave up on the gym, let alone any delusions about the spa.

So, I started to wonder: Did my "12 Months of Me" announcement somehow anger the universe? Was it too selfish? Is it too self-serving and obnoxious? Is this the time for me to give more, not less?

I have busted my behind for years to do the best I can for my family and community! Seriously. I had a baby at 19 and he, awesome son that he is, is now in his junior year at an Ivy League college (yeah!). I have never received a dime of child support (ok, no big deal - we made it work). My daughter, in 4th grade, could care less about school and has to be coaxed, each day, into acting like she cares about anything but being Ms. Social Butterfly USA. She is a kinetic learner, which means that I have to work with her much more than most parents would have to work with their kids on school work. I am paying tuition for her, too.

So, between the Ivy League butt-kicking tuition, which is equal to 2X my monthly mortgage payment.....and this little Princess and her school's tuition, I am definitely using my income to invest in my children's education. Plus, I put myself through school and managed, by the grace of all that is good, to grind my way up the corporate ladder and now stand strong with the best of the best in the High Tech industry.

Plus, (random comment) my ex husband is a jerk who tried some "interesting" stunts with the family court system 3 years back, which I'm sure he regrets (there's NOTHING a great lawyer and a stack of cash (to pay said laywer) cannot fix!). I'll probably not say any more about him. Such old news and anything about him is boring. I am not even mad anymore.

I am not whining or complaining at all.....I'm just framing the issue here.

Ok, so, I would like to think that I deserve 12 Months of Me. Hey, I would still grind at work, still pay tuition to schools who like to send me too much mail asking for donations on top of tuition (are you serious?), still take great care of my clients, try to get to church more often, increase my philanthropic work, etc.

All I want is to feel "ok" about a little focus on what I want for myself: more time at the gym, spa and maybe some botox or something......more frequent appointments with my hair stylist....a new car (I've finally decided that I like that BMW 650i convertible after not liking any cars for 2 years)......hire a housekeeper, because I HATE, HATE, HATE to spend my precious free time doing housework and laundry......and maybe some yoga or something that would get me to relax more. I know I need to relax. And, if I could spend the last 2 weeks of June in Italy, I'd feel especially grateful to "life".

And, well, last but not least.....I need to address and handle the "man" situation in my life. (sigh). I am not really feeling like the one I have is "the" one. More on that later. Too exhausting to blog about today.

Ok, so that's how it went when I announced the 12 Months of Me. In any event, I am pressing on. Maybe the universe will soon adjust back to normal and stop all of this drama.